Unite and Separate for the Sake of Allah. - noblescent

5/14/13

Unite and Separate for the Sake of Allah.

Ya Allah please use me write all that is good, nothing but good.
May every word typed makes up a composition that gains You pleasure.
Please help me write well. Amin.

بِسْــــــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِارَّحْمَنِ ارَّحِيم

            
Mitsaqon Gholidzo. 
“Perjanjian yang kukuh”, “Perjanjian yang agung”, “Perjanjian yang berat”…
Pharase yang hanya DIA firmankan tiga kali dalam Qur’an :
QS 33:7-8, mitsaqon gholidzo : perjanjian yang DIA ambil dari para Ulul Azmi -Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa, dan Isa- untuk mengemban amanah idzharul (penegakan) Islam..
QS 4:154, mitsaqon gholidzo : saat dimana Allah angkat bukit Thursina untuk mengambil perjanjian & sumpah setia dari Bani Israil dalam memurnikan ketaatan & kepatuhan padaNYA semata..
QS 4:21, mistaqon gholidzo : perjanjian agung yang diambilNYA dari pria kpd wanita dlm ikatan pernikahan.. 
Ketiganya adalah perjanjian yang kokoh, perjanjian yang berat, perjanjian yang agung. Suatu janji untuk bersama memurnikan ketaatan & kepatuhan padaNYA semata. Sebuah komitmen untuk menegakkan kalimatNYA..
Suatu janji dan komitmen yang akan ditukar dengan kemenangan di dunia dan/atau hak utk menghuni surgaNYA di akhirat kelak…

Alhamdulillah...
Thank You Allah for making our farewell party go smoothly. It was my first time hosting a BBQ party for my DeKalb friends, a mutual friend on a study abroad program along with her host family and some EM officers. There I met such wonderful people. Alhamdulillah for that opportunity. 

So, the spring semester just over and many of my friends are getting married. How exciting...you're finally moving into a new phase of your life. A new era!
1. One bro just left for Dubai to get married to the girl of his childhood.
2. A sister just left for Egypt to get married to the guy she's been communicating with from long distance.
3. A sister is engaged and traveling half of the world for six month before tying the knot.
4. A sister is leaving for India to get married to the guy whom she was arranged to get married to.
5. A friend of mine is getting married to her best friend this summer just at the opposite of our apartment building. 
None of these people I will ever meet again for sure after their solemnization. 
At the same time, lately, ya Allah, I've been bombarded with a lot of divorce new pertaining to my acquaintances.
1. One of my friend who's been married for 6 years is wrapping up her divorce. She'll be moving out of her house in a month while being unemployed for almost 5 months now. She's maintaining her non-profit organization which provides a support group for divorcees, does independent beauty product sales, has two angelic kids and so many other things going on for her.  
2. She's befriended with a prof of mine whom I found out has been divorced. I really look up to him. He's the one who has been transmitting pearls into feeding my soul and the community's. 
This is a remark from him that I'll never forget.
-----------------------------love note-------------------------------- 
My beloved students, 
I am so surprised and touched by your kindness and generosity. Someone might look at all this below and think that I'm retiring or ill or something. 
In some ways, my goal is to give to you what other teachers gave to me. In some ways, my goal is to give to you what I wish others had given to me. Or, maybe it's just a simple need to be a father. Or, maybe it's just love. So, pay it forward. 
I have high expectations for each of you. I hope that each of you finds a way to give service. Your fuel can be anger, and you will burn out. Your fuel can be duty, and you'll get tired. Or, your fuel can be love, and you won't be able to stop. 
You each are so important to me. 
Prof.  
----------------------------end of love note--------------------------- 
3. Two guests of mine were on the verge of filing for divorce. One recovered the other is pending.  
4. My DeKalb best friend's lil sister just got divorced at the age on 19 after a month of marriage.  
Last night, I had a moment of realization. What happens in between two happinesses? One happiness is when you make the vow, the other moment is when you breakfree from the vow. There might be a torrential rainstorm eclipsing the bright sunny day somewhere in between. How strong these people are and subhanallah that strength comes from nowhere but You. What puts me into awe is that, these people became more matured overnight. They came out to be the stronger, better and more independent individuals they would never have been had it not been for the divorce. It as though they just rediscovered their true self - their capability, durability, potential and faith in Allah. Subhanallah, it's amazing how Allah allots superpowers among His slaves. Not just through one's pre-existing health, wealth, status and influence that they become powerful, but equally as much or all the more, through broken family, disability, unemployment, divorce, corruption, impoverishment and pain.

I once had a beautiful model-like professor for my media writing class. She warned us that there may be days when she would need to cancel class because she had kids. I thought, subhanallah what a beautiful, responsible mother she was. She was a good instructor, stoical and always kept her posture steady. Half way through the semester, she told us all that she changed her email from abrown@niu.edu to abarrows@niu.edu (not real names/emails) which was weird but whatever. Later into the semester, I found out that she changed her last name because she just got a divorce. But subhanallah it's amazing how she didn't even flicker. She didn't even budge. She kept her cool, controlled the class as normal, put her feelings under her belt soberly looking like a staunch. 
And guess what? She had never ever cancelled a day of class. 

Many people go through the same rites of passage. But not all of them face the similar outcome. So if you asked me "What happens in between two happinesses?" I'd say there might be a torrential rainstorm eclipsing the bright sunny day, promising to cleanse and fertilize the dry Earth. It's a new air that you breath in, the kind of air that you are familiar to but completely revitalized. It's about survival - being single, being married and being divorced. So, jangan fikir kalau tak kahwin = lega tak payah pikul dosa isteri dan anak beranak. Ujian Allah tu pasti whereever and whatever status you are. 

Kasih sayang dan lemah lembut seorang wanita that is innate in her, where does she pay it forward to regardless if she was barren and divorced? Kegagahan dan protecting demeanor that is innate in men, where do they exhaust it to regardless if he didn't have a family and hidup sebatang kara? Out there, plenty more agents are in need of  your superpower. Just because you're childless doesn't mean you can't be a father. Just because you're disable, doesn't mean you're incapable of influencing others. At the end of the day, the gift of aqal is the greatest superpower. It surpassed the gift of agility, invisibility, flexibility and flying. The Incredible 4, Hulk, Spiderman, Superman, Keluang Man and Hello Kitty are nothing without aqal. 
Don't let these superpowers go unused,  unattendedundercover.



Last Thursday, I went out with my girls in between finals to celebrate our nervous bride-to-be friend. Bettunia, a newlywed friend of mine gave us some advice. "Don't stop doing istikarah until you know for sure he's the one. Once you get married, you have to remember to always be patient. If it's critical that you need to get out of it (marriage), then remember your intention. Unite with him for the sake of Allah, be apart from him for the sake of Allah."
Bila tiba waktunya kita bercerai dengan dunia, perkahwinan yang paling bahagia pun akan jumpa pengakhirannya. Wan's love story in this physical world with atok just ended. But her love story with her progeny hasn't yet. May Allah bless the soul of allahyarham Jamaludin bin Samad with His rahmah and place him with the righteous. A great husband, father to 11 children, grandfather of countless grandchildren, a police officer 
retiree and a traveller.  Al-Fatihah. 

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