so close....yet so far.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
 السلام عليكم

so close....yet so far.
i never knew how much i wanted it until it appeared just under my nose, reachable yet unreachable..
and ateeqa nasha thought her mind was made up..pfffffftftf.

tonight suddenly feels lonesome.
if only i could talk to along...
but i couldn't. of course. i might burst out.
lembik la ateeqa nasha ni.
dah. heads up.
sok nk p event kat Iman Office di downtown chi.

"Topics from Imam al-Haddad's "Book of Assistance" w/ Ustadh Usama Canon" -Reflections on Imam Al-Haddad's famous treatise concerning Muslim devotions, prayers and practical ethics. The commentary is geared towards newcomers to Islam, young folks recommitting themselves to the Deen and anyone seeking applicable ways to advance spiritually.

This class is FREE & taught by Ustadh Usama Canon."
nak sgt p..p dgn rifka. tapi dia habis kelas kul 2. event start kul 3. dlm 2 hours to get to Iman's office from our place dgn nk tuka bas n train nye dan jln sket. kalo p sendiri, rasenye tak dpt aih. dan malam beransur awal..haih.

so, ikut anty ita...ajak ke madisan uni di wiscon 2 hours from our place. ade chinese new year celebration.
..nak ke tak p. nak ke tak. hmm. wlpn byk hwk, p je lah. bila lg nk jumpa sahabat2 di sana...sungguh, tak tahu bila nk jumpa lagi...

sambil tu, search psl Book of Assistance ni..interesting. by Imam Abdallah Ibn Alawi Al-haddad
then, from google videos, saye terserempak dgn vid ni. play kejap to get a a rough idea of the book, discussed by Shaykh Abdal Aziz Fredricks seperti di bawah ini.

it was a nice surprise to find that his grace reminds me of my abah. sejibik lah. lemah lembut maaacam pak longku. rindu sgt kat dia. suara pon sama. I love him! (btw, sepupuku, anak beliau, siti adawiyah, dah selamat diijab kabulkan last december :) alhamdulillah n barak allahu lakuma. i still remember our last pillow talk sis. clearly he was meant for you. dah jd bini org dah skarang.)

balik malaysia haritu, i spoke to abah.
i said, i respect for what you do, abah...hebat sgt. with the confidence n all.  i wish i could be like you.
abah : nasha, kite nk cakap dan mengingat boleh lah...selalu nk buat tu yang susah.
...i thought for a moment. did i say something wrong?...
oh i get it now.
he reminded me of Surah Al-Saff : 2-3 - Allah says: “O you who believe, why do you say what you do not do? It is most hateful to Allah for you to say what you do not do.” 

berat tugas khalifah yg mentadbir bumi ni. tapi itu tugas setiap muslim pn kn. in another context, amal ma'ruf nahi mungkar. reminding other people, not necessarily you've to be called a daie. because it's just what you do and what you are are. tapi sungguh, does my mouth speaks for my action? anyone knows it's always the other way round. my mouth and thought do a lot more of reminding than my body and action would do as reminded.
yes is always easy to say and no is always easy to do. may i always act upon what i'm reminded.

Salah seorang berkata kepada Ibnu Mas’ud, “Binasalah orang yang tidak menyeru kepada kebaikan dan tidak mencegah dari kemungkaran”, lalu Ibnu Mas’ud berkata, “Justru binasalah orang yang tidak mengetahui dengan hatinya kebaikan dan tidak mengingkari dengan hatinya kemungkaran.” (Riwayat Ibnu Abi Syaibah dalam Mushonnafbeliau no. 37581)

as a conclusion,   i miss my along and abah yang jauh dimata tp dekat dihati.
moga Allah subhanahuwata'ala permudahkan segala urusan kita dan berikan kita yang terbaik.
perjuangan kita belum selesai. sampai untaian terakhir di pinggir waktu, Allah ada bersama kita.
inshallah.

wallahualam.