I never imagine a life of Sufism would end up like this...

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
 السلام عليكم

berusang dah blog ni..
hmm..anyway, sekarang, saye rase nk peluk sgt wan...
lately she had been through a lot. sabar ye wan...
harap kami ade jodoh lagi. inshallah.. dah sebak dgr wan suruh balik jaga dia.
Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang...

Uncle dah kembali ke rahmatullah..his last words that i couldn't ever forget, "I never imagine a life of Sufism would end up like this..." :')


siapakah special Uncle dihatiku ini? Nama beliau, Uncle Ahamed. and i only knew his name after he passed away. He was very influential in our lives especially the lives of ayah dan kelima lima adik beradik mama. I lost my second mom, Makcik and now Uncle. most importantly, these lives made such a big impact especially on ayah that his words of acknowledgement for his thesis consists of both these people's names. funny...how they are not even from his close relatives.

mama met arwah uncle kat majid berdekatan dgn pondok rumah wan in negeri sembilan.the first time mama met uncle, he said "I feel that i have  a connection with you". He was originally from India. He left his huge, loving and wealthy family because he felt that his mother's love was too much that it distracted him from the love of God. It bothered him that he was living in abundance. So he decided to leave home, India and came to Malaysia. Here he stayed in masjid. That was when he met abah, pakngah, my uncles and ayah. Mama said he changed them a lot for the better. Maha Suci Allah nak pertemukan mereka otherwise they probably wouldn't have been the people they are today. Wallahualam. uncle was always there to talk to them, give them advice and just being there for them.

at times of hardship...especially during mama's teenagehood, with wan and atok splitting apart, wan and her business all day, adek beradik lain kat asrama..she always felt alone. no one was there to tell her how to maneuver about with life. mama said, every time she went to meet him, she would be sure she returns home smiling, light hearted as though a burden has been lifted off her shoulders.

he said, "I need to share this knowledge and advice...otherwise it's a sin on me".

as she grew up, he was the companion, the advisor for both my parents. any turbulance, challenge or opportunity they face, they would return to him to seek for advice, biiznillah. after mama graduated, he moved to langkawi. still, they kept in touch. they wrote letters, called and met, however way. he also wrote letters to his family in india, back and forth. he was so special to me because he gave me such a precious gift that parents are accountable of giving, which would stay with me for eternity. that is, my name, Ateeqa...as well as my brothers' names, Muzammil and Hanif. Ateeqa means Noble..amin.

throughout his life, at times of sickness there was always someone taking care of him. when he was admitted to a hospital and just got out, a close relative's friend sheltered him in a condo. my uncles even went to the extent that they brought arwah uncle to India to return him to his family when he was so sick. he needed someone to take care of him. fate has it that the mission failed...they could find the person they contacted. nevertheless, Allah kita sangat penyayang. sampaikan nasib arwah uncle terbela hingga ke penhujung hayat. Allahuakbar.

he once said "The best religion is the purity of the heart".
imagine leaving your own country for a country that you don't know any one of. imagine how arwah serahkan hidup beliau, jiwa dan raga kat no one but Allah and to Allah only, bulat2.

"I never imagine a life of Sufism would end up like this..."

hajatnya nak lari dari kesenangan hidup dan kecintaan makhluk yang Allah jadikan sebagai family, in return, Allah bagi family lain utk didampingi di tanah yang tak dikenali. in this case, he replaced the love of his mother to be the mother for those who were in need. He needed Allah before anything...then Allah fulfilled all his needs. Allah kept him in good hands till the end of his breath.

Dear uncle, inshallahu taala you and arwah makcik will always be in my prayers. I aspire to be a gem such like you both have taught me. kalau aku boleh "tafsir" bagaimana kesudahan orang2 yang baik..bagaimanakah orang2 sekelilingku menafsir kesudahan aku nanti?

Al-Fatihah