We don't live to die.

بِسْــــــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِارَّحْمَنِ ارَّحِيم

"It's hard living everyday knowing the condition in Palestine. It's the other part of me.
I feel hopeless. Incompetent."

In times of hardship and trial, please don't you ever feel incompetent and hopeless. The feeling of despair, abalasa is from iblis. It doesn't take us anywhere, but our du'a does. We don't think Allah sent us here because He loves us more than them, do we? What did we do to deserve to be here? It's not because we got lucky. It's not by chance or without purpose. Allah sent us here to gain strength not to feel far away from 'reality' let alone incompetent. We are living in reality just as much as they are. Our battles may look different but they are similar. While their place is raining bullets, our place is raining heavily with His mercy for us to remember Him in remembering them.

"It's raining. Quick, make dua!" :)

The Day of Judgment for us is the Day of Mercy for them. Hari Pengadilan untuk kita adalah Hari Pembelaan untuk mereka. Mungkin nasib mereka tak terbela di dunia ini. Tapi tunggu saja ketika Allah jadi Pembela mereka di sana nanti. Our job right now is to focus. Focus on the ones that are within our reach. While we concern for those who are afar, the near ones are just as much in need of our attention. Where ever we are placed, make the best of it.

What's our plan if Allah suddenly placed us with them in Palestine, Syria, Rohingya etc. By just being there is not enough. So we'd expect to get shot at, die as martyrs...and that way Allah would be pleased with us? There's much more to life than death. Many of us claim we would die for Allah but how many would live for Him? These are similar kinds of battlefields. I find joy and jihad in educating myself through reading and talking to people. This is my preparation in my battlefield, where I'm being placed at. I'm not saying it's enough but I feel it's necessary for me and the ummah.

While that is going on in Palestine, Indonesia sparked some hope in creating a better future for the ummah. Maashallah :) If we don't see the correlation between them, check again. The recent election completely took me back to the seerah of Rasulullah (peace be upon him) and the crisis in Egypt. Between the minority and the elite, the grassroots and military. May the one best in tarbiyyah and the ready to carry it out win.

Nor do they spend an expenditure, small or large, or cross a valley but that it is registered for them that Allah may reward them for the best of what they were doing. (At Taubah 9:121)

And it is not for the believers to go forth [to battle] all at once. For there should separate from every division of them a group [remaining] to obtain understanding in the religion and warn their people when they return to them that they might be cautious. (At Taubah 9:122)

Ya Allah, aku redha dengan ujian ini. Please increase our understanding of ad-deen so that we may be strengthened physically, emotionally and spiritually. Please unite our hearts so we may unite in paving the road to gain Your pleasure during hard times and ease. Please plant tawaddu' in us so we may still be able to smile and spread peace while our heart is crying. Amin. Why? Because it's raining of His mercy here, isn't it? because it's still Ramadhan isn't it? because we're still alive, aren't we? WHY? Because when we live for Him, regardless of our circumstances, we'll die for Him, won't we?

And that's how life is precious.

Ramadhan 10th, 1435 - With my Palestanian and Turkish sisters (Hind, Rabia and Namraz)