Rewarding Pain.

بِسْــــــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِارَّحْمَنِ ارَّحِيم

Ok. Dah berapa kali draft ni. Kalau entry field ni kertas, dah banyak pokok saya bazir.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Target sem ni, dok kat kampus 7:30 - 9pm. If I was a mom, this would sum an epic fail for the role I play. But the point is, I'm not a mom yet. That's why I get to do this. I would like to stay until 10pm but thinking that I'm a semi-mother (now that I have a kitten to take care of), I've to spare so time to play with him. Alhamdulillah for my spouse (heh) Ana, she will be around for Muezza more than I will. I guess, I play the role of the father here.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal for all Your help, Allah. Only goodness can come out out of this turbulence. I woke up at 4am and noticed a message from mama. I don't know what was going through my head, but alhamdulillah was all I uttered after learning that ayah just got into an accident, breaking two of his femurs (hip bones) and cracked his right tibia (right leg bone). The night before, when I did my night prayer, I was high on thinking "Wow alhamdulillah...I still have both my parents. The world is mine!" I slept soundly and woke up to find that nothing has changed even after hearing the news. I'm surprised at how calm I've been. If this didn't come from You, Allah, I don't know who else.

So I re-evaluate my alhamdulillah. Did I say that out of thinking "heh, it wasn't so bad" or "phew, at least ayah is still alive"?

Do you feel secure that He who [holds authority] in the heaven would not cause the earth to swallow you and suddenly it would sway? (67:16)

 There's more to be thankful and saying alhamdulillah for.

1. Alhamdulillah for the fact that Ayah is not alone. Ayah masih ada mama. Anak-anak ayah jauh entah kemana saat ayah sangat perlukan bantuan dan jagaan sekarang ni :'( Maksud saya "entah kemana" is that, di mana letaknya prioriti kami sekarang sebagai anak? Ampunilah segala dosa kami, ya Allah. Alhamdulillah ayah masih ada mama. But pretty soon, even mama is going to need help taking care of ayah when he gets discharged from the hospital. Kedua-dua tulang paha patah means he'll be bed ridden for quite a while. I remember once, mama broke her right hand from falling down on a cemented pavement. I was 11 years old. Although mama was in the KL, the first person she contacted while still in the awkward position was ayah...and he was all the way in Kedah! The analogy is, if one of their hearts were to be dissected, I'd see mama's heart beating for ayah and ayah for mama. May Allah prosper their marriage and their generations after. Amin.

Ice-creams always make ayah happy.

2. Mama wasn't picking up the phone. Then I thought, how helpless was I. Having a full day ahead, I didn't know who to share this news with to get it out of the chest or if I even should tell anybody. So this is what it feels like to be truly concerned and care for your "father" over at the other side of the world. Our fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters from Palestine who constantly share their worries for each other everyday. Suddenly I feel my lament is insignificant. I decided to resort for consolation from Allah. After all, He is Al-Qareeb (The Near) and Al-Mujeeb (The Answerer). Believing Al-Qareeb,  I acknowledge that He is also Al-Basir (The Ever Watchful), As-Sami' (The Listener) and Al-Alim (The All-Knowing). Because He's close, He sees, He listens and He knows. Like a lifeguard who sees, listens, and attentive to people's call in need, Allah is the one most abled to help in answering my dua and ayah's cry for help. He will be my wakeel as I lean my tawakkal.

2. Furthermore, I've been reflecting quite a bit from the book Kak Malina lent me just before she gave to the patient we visited at Iowa State Uni, called Allah Sayang Kamu. I thought to myself, betapa ikhlasnya Allah nak tolong kita masuk syurga dan elak dari terkena azab-Nya. Let's think about it, Allah yang Al-Khaliq lagi Ar-Rahman dan Ar-Rahim, mana sanggup nak sakitkan dan lihat makhlukNya merana, menderita. From what I learn, tidak ada sakit, sedih dan susah yang menimpa hamba-hambaNya kecuali ianya menjadi kaffarah dosa. Dalam erti kata yang lain, sakit, sedih dan susah tu adalah purification (tazkiyyah) for the soul bukannya azab bagi mukmin. Nauzubillah himinzalik. Kalau parents, kita kaitkan "marah tu tandanya sayang", Allah pula "beri ujian tandanya sayang" supaya kita tak disakiti nanti. Bukan hanya kaffarah untuk yang "terpilih" semata-mata, tapi untuk orang2 sekelilingnya yang turut simpati, sakit, sedih dan susah kerananya. Maashallah, dahsyatkan Allah kita :)

Banyak lagi sebab untuk saya bertahmid sebenarnya...but this is enough for now as far as sharing.  With good health, mind and soul, may Allah bless us with care for other people and ease in obeying Him. Amin.

Hadith - Bukhari 7:564 

I visited Allah's Apostle while he was suffering from a high fever. I touched him with my hand and said, "O Allah's Apostle! You have a high fever." Allah's Apostle said, "Yes, I have as much fever as two men of you have." I said, "Is it because you will get a double reward?" Allah's Apostle said, "Yes, no Muslim is afflicted with harm because of sickness or some other inconvenience, but that Allah will remove his sins for him as a tree sheds its leaves." 

Recorded by Bukhari in al-Adab ul-Mufrad (no. 493), verified authentic by al-Albani 

"Expect good, because Allah (s.w.t.) makes a believer's sickness an expiation (for his sins) and a period of repose. As for a disbeliever falling sick, he is like a camel whose owner ties it and then lets it loose --it does not understand why it was tied, nor why it was freed." 

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #1570, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah  

Allah's Messenger said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world." 

Hadith - Bukhari 7:555, Narrated 'Ata bin Abi Rabah  

Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her."