Finally after two weeks of thinking, drafting, reviewing and almost puking after thinking some more but never publishing, terperap dengan post ni. So hear ye hear ye.
A date to remember, 2nd March 2016, the day when Bettunia was born.
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| Yup, uh huh. Exactly how it happened. (My Abe, you could've at least tried to hide the evidence a little better. Belon sembunyi belakang pokok2 tu macam malu2 kucing dengan kamera je) |
9am: Another day of doctor's appointment after a kazillion before. I almost exploded last week when then nurse invited me into a room for baby heart beat and contraction checking. The contraction went crazy as the wavelength of pain magnitude showing an exponential growth of stalactites and stalagmites pattern coming on more and more frequent. They thought I was ready to pop but there was no opening whatsoever. Today I went into the same exact room with similar result. The doctor and I both agreed that I didn't need to check my opening because apparently according to the doctor, I seemed too just fine, happy and chilled. 'Just fine' as defined by the doctor was 'macam masih boleh lompat2'. So off I bounced to the LRT station to send my lovely Abe to work and then last stop to my office.
10am: Since I got a release from doc until 11am, I decided to take a short nap in the car by the LRT station after bidding my Abe goodbye. I was incredibly tired like never before and I wasn't exactly sure why. It felt like all the weight in this world was on top of me. Hopefully I would feel better after the nap. What seemed like five minutes turned into almost an hour. I felt nothing change. Now I had to do what I had to do...go to work, right.
1pm: Lunchhh time. To my surprise, I received a delivery of Nasi Ayam Penyet from my Abe. So happyy :) I did not plan to go out to have lunch because I felt sooo tired to go anywhere. So nice of him. And out of the many times he said he would deliver food to my office, this is the one time that he didn't forget and mean it. I tell you, I NEEDED IT. It was hot and spicy and I thought that what caused my tummy to feel funny. I got a few fleeting cramps while sitting bersimpuh at the pantry, eating.
2pm: Done with Zuhr jemaah prayer. At this point my face was making hundreds of funny expressions like a mime. No words, just expressions. One second I was cringing, the other I was smirking, tight, deadpan, smiling and so on and so forth trying to contain myself from the pain I felt. We were hugging and shaking everyone's hand at that time after prayer.
2.30pm: I went into boss' office and I explained what I was going through "I might need to go see a doctor for a while because I don't feel very well. I don't want to call my husband because I might be disturbing him." Boss' driver said I might be experiencing a false alarm. I just went, "Oh really...I see. Ok, no big deal then." Boss said "Just in case, the driver is here. He can take you." Before I knew it, she was off with the driver to some meeting outside. At this point, I was timing the gap between when the pain recurred. It was bout 7-10 minutes apart. It felt like a wave, a surge...when I felt it and tried to retain, my somewhat chinky eyes would bulge and felt as if they could come off their sockets. I would walk around the office, stop by everyone's work station saying "Hi...sorry I'm just passing by" nicely...while frowning.
3pm: I remembered when there was a community party with our apartment residents, one sister there, 8/9 month preggie was experiencing a really bad back pain. So there and then, in the middle of our conversation she was off to a hospital. Another sister who witnessed it said when all else fails, THE calling sign is when you cannot even fake a smile anymore. Now I thought to myself "OK this is not funny anymore. I'm not smiling." Immediately I called my cik Abe and guess what? It had to happened to me like in the movies...he WASN'T picking up! Ughhh. Well, I kept dialling and dialling endlessly just to make him feel bad when he saw my misssed calls. Then I gave up. I was ready to give birth in this office under my desk, in the lab (it's quite equipped with beakers and gloves), the warehouse (for privacy and darkness, close to natural birth) or whatever, you know. The rest was history. Just kidding. Of course I had to just wait lah.
3:45pm: Yup, after almost an hour (AN HOUR!), my Abe called and he was quite panicked. "Ok abang datang sekarang" were his last words. The car was with me (as we commuted from work together), he didn't have any cash on him for taxi and taking the LRT would take too much time. According to him, he made an open announcement about this emergency and everyone was offering cash and throwing coins at him. So he UBERed it. He UBERed it!!! I don't know what to say. Just alhamdulillah for Your help *_* (now I think I can sell my story to Uber). I handed the company's keys to a trusted person, all the folders and files for handover...JUST IN CASE. I also left this poor outsourced IT guy whom I was supervising fixing our internet. Then everyone in the office RAVED for me, cheered on like I was a pregnant lady about to give birth or something as I was leaving the office. Well, that was unnecessary.
4:15pm: My Abe arrived! Instead of taking our usual route to Kajang Plaza Medical Center, my Abe felt uncannily 'adventurous'. He took a different route thinking it would be quicker and found ourselves stuck in a traffic jam, adding to what he would say 'spice of life' in the already enough dramatic, drama. It was amazing. There were also bumps and holes as we drove in and out neighbourhoods that helped NOT alleviate but ELEVATE the pain. I just braced myself...and threw a tantrum by stretching and rolling side by side. Pregnant women can get pretty big and round like gym balls. Finally we arrived. A nurse welcomed me with a wheelchair and asked how far apart was my pain. 10 seconds on the wheelchair, I decided I was more comfortable walking than sitting. I was brought into a room with a bed in the middle and they checked me. I was 4 cm opened. Oh so all this while the pain that caused me to evolve into a part-time-full-moon-transforming-howling-werewolf-awuu-awuu was the infamous thing called 'contraction'. To be honest with you, after all the craziness, I still thought I was going to pack up and be back in the office before 5pm for Asr prayer. OK if not today then maybe tomorrow after this check up because I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking today was the day. It should be Friday because tomorrow (Thursday) Mama and Ayah were coming from Kedah to accompany me back to Jitra preparing for this little bundle of joy.
The nurse gave me a some kind of pill and she rushed me to the toilet. 2 mins, 5 mins then almost 10 minutes gone by but I wasn't coming out. That's not good. My Abe gave a knock on the door and I told him I wanted to stay in because sitting made it feel less painful and with water from the pipe pouring out, I felt a lot more relaxed. He suggested that I came out immediately though, so that I didn't annoy the nurses as much as I did him :( There goes my sweet makeshift DIY waterbirth, I guess. Jeez.
7pm: At this point I have lost all sense of time. I was feeling drowsy when the nurse checked me again. However, now every time the pain wave came, I was more and more wide awake as it was becoming more and more monstrous than ever. I wanted to scream my lungs out of the discomfort but I knew it wouldn't help. So I chose to ordain modesty. I did the puppy cry instead. To my blurriness, suddenly the doctor was called in, "Oh, baru jumpa pagi tadi...sekarang dah nak beranak dah". She checked here and there. Then I heard some jiggles from the doctor and nurses. The doctor just popped my water. Glad to know I could entertain them somehow. Seconds after, she kindly said "Ok Ateeqa, sekarang awak cuba push ya" Huh? Push? Push what? Doing what push? Push the door open? Push up? Push chair? I didn't feel any urge of pushing like people say "you'd want to pass bowel etc". So now what??? With all my might I pretended to push while growling to make it more believable. Then I got told off for growling. Haha.
Still confused, I pushed, pushed and pushed then ooops on the the third push, suddenly there was a loud cry from the other end. That moment, 7:05pm, was the first time ever I laid eyes on this miraculous gift of Allah. Maashallah. I was still confused because I didn't give my long-awaited-and-much-practiced-best-grand-kamehameha-finale push yet but the baby was already out. What's even more subhanallah was that, I didn't even feel a flick. I thought I would cry my eyes out witnessing this beautiful and heart wrenching moment but I was in so much confusion that when grateful my Abe broke in tears (aaaw...), I thought he was angry at me. Yikes. Now THAT made me want to cry.
Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah. Baby dan mama selamat sudah.
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| Fresh from the oven! |
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| Not so fresh anymore but I'm cuter than ever, mama! |
Aha moments
2. From the time I knew I was pregnant I had never been more active. I still went swimming at 8 months and did laps of walking in the park every week. Shopping malls are a good place for exercising too :D
3. Tried to memorize or at least recite frequently especially surah Maryam, surah Yusuf and surah Luqman.
4. We all need to be able to trust and feel comfortable around our doctors especially during our gravely 'bare' and special moment that's a matter of life and death. So choose your doctor if you have the luxury to. I chose mine after meeting around five doctors, KL and Kedah.
5. Kegel is the best form of exercise to strengthen our down there muscle and help from getting into accidents and curb our urges during pregnancy.
6. Talk to the baby while in tummy always.
7. You just don't ask married couples WHEN they're going to conceive a baby because it's purely a rezq from Allah, the One who decides when. Even jodoh perkahwinan is not as incidental as being pregnant. It may happen immediately, it may happen way way way later in life when you don't even remember how it happens.
8. Embrace every moment of pregnancy, solemnly prepare for going into labor and look forward to the days ahead when you get to be with your baby and see he/she grow.
9. Like Maryam radiallahuanha, the water stream Allah provided her was there not for nothing. I definitely found it more tranquillising, relaxing and less painful being with/on/under a stream of water in my case, one that came from the water hose in the toilet. Yes...a bit sad but true story.
10. Fresh ripe dates for Maryam radiahuanha when she shook the trunk of date palm with effort. Alhamdulillah, for my Abe's food delivery and the fact that Allah inspired me to eat although I didn't feel like it. All pregnant women going into labor would need a lot of energy.
11. Please please please never under value the status of motherhood. Always remind yourself the virtues of carrying a life in your tummy whether the baby makes it until the 9th month or he/she doesn't...and whether you make it or you don't. Allahuakbar. I know of someone who died in labor. The struggle is real and inshallah so is the reward.
A man came to the Prophet (S) and asked, “I have an old mother who because of old age is not able to move. I carry her on my shoulder and put bites of food in her mouth and clean her. Have I repaid her rights?” To this the Prophet (S) replied, “No, because her stomach was your place, and during that entire time, she desired your life.” Mustadrak al-Wasāil, vol. 2, pg. 628
12. Writing this post made me realize that every birthday that I celebrated, all the gifts that I was showered with should have been a tribute to Mama because it's a day of remembrance the pain that she went through :'/ Why do we claim for presents and acknowledgement when the person toiling for life, two lives, on the day we were born were our mothers?
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| During confinement. |
13. Oh yah, last but not least, plan ahead of your activities during confinement. It's a nice holiday from work while you get to know your baby...it could consume most of your time but hey, don't all mommies deserve some break? :) Sketching was my fav. activity as you can see. Enjoy! :D
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