Choose: Save Time or Save Money?

So we were in the middle of house hunting, having a casual discussion about which land is best and which property suits our budget and ideals. It seems like nothing really satisfies our needs at the moment. From Sendayan to Klang to Semenyih, seem too far-fetched for us young parents with small children. If we landed on properties closer to the office, we would be able to save time but buying it would cost us an arm and a leg. With properties farther from the workplace, we would be able to save money slightly but then, not much time after work due to arriving home late and exhaustion being on the road. Can't have both. Our casual conversation suddenly turns serious as when we found ourselves on a dead end.

To tune the pressure down a bit, I said with a relief that "At the end of the day, we're still better off than so many people out there. We should be grateful alhamdulillah the fact that we managed to secure a small apartment at all. It's our current biggest asset." Abe gave me a thoughtful look and arranged his words carefully before saying "Actually if we really really think about it, our biggest assets right now are those two girls." No matter what kind of house we live in and the distance from our workplace, the positive or negative consequences affecting our girls would greatly affect us too.

So between choosing time and money, it's still kind of hard to say. We'd like to invest in their education earlier on which raises the question of money but the phase they're currently in requires more attention than ever (and not that it's diminishing anytime soon). In conclusion, we'll save a bit of money and give them a considerable amount of quality time. Even the least of savings would grow if we do it consistently. It will get us somewhere rather than not even trying. Plus I always tell myself that duit ni boleh cari. Kalau dah habis, boleh top up. Berbisnes, bagi servis, cari kerja lain, naik pangkat, yearly increment, rezeki yang tak disangka. Duit ni nice to have, I always see it as an amplifier. Tapi masa? Berapa banyak masa kita ada pun kita tak tahu. Kalau duit, ada bank account that keeps track of the debit and credit. We could amend or erase the mistake and carelessness with money. But quality time spent with our children, especially during the early childhood phase? How do we keep track of that? How could it be reversed once it had been eaten up by time and age?

With more quality time allocated, we hope for better values embedded in them. By considerable, I mean choosing them over housework, social time and basically doing everything together. Housework and me time could come once they're fast asleep. Social time could happen in the weekends for a couple of hours, leaving them in the hands of someone I trust and loves the child just as much i.e. the father/grandpops. From teaching how to love their Creator to being kind and charitable to people and get smart and creative during playtime. A lot of the good things in this world Allah made them free including this human capital development. It all boils down to how much of the language of love being shown, said and heard from the domestic institution that we're all too familiar with called home. It's their small community for a starter. Nak ajar anak ikhlas, pembersih, suka menolong dan bersedekah? Start with cleaning up their toys together, the bathrooms and always going to the surau. We could create activities around them to make it enjoyable.

Although at almost zero cost, all this requires time, discipline and energy though. When I said money as an amplifier, by that I mean the ability to have options. Housework takes over your life? Hire someone to do it for you. Mountains of laundry? Send it to the dobi. Want a safe avenue for your kids?  Send to good nurseries with trained caretakers and good facilities. Want to spend more time with your kids? Buy/rent a house nearby your workplace. Eh? Kaching-kachingg.

One day when our kids have started to be enrolled in school, would we rather hire someone to send them off and pick them up from school? He/she would be the last person to see our kids enters the school and the first person to see them after school? Well, I know some of us are left with no choice. At standard 3, when my school session was shifted in the evening, I was home alone and I speak for myself that I became a truant expert. Always pretending to be sick and always hiding away while peeping through the window to see the Makcik Van who would honk three times before she left to pick up other pupils. There was a time when I decided to take Along's new bike for a ride to school across the jalan besar with no traffic lights or zebra crossings. Just because no one was there to say no. I was a rebel like that. Buat dulu baru fikir consequences. I was 9 ok. Good thing Mama was a teacher who came back from work at 3pm and Ayah a lecturer who reached home latest by 6pm. That means they would already be home by the time I arrived.

Anyway, this generation carries a whole new weight to different kinds of yesterday's burden. I still think that time is of the essence for my nestling daughters. By investing our money to gain more time with the intention to love our kids for the sake of Allah and mould them to have decent qualities and values, may Allah make us the best exemplary parents deserving of the best exemplary children. Jessica Hische nicely puts this in a perspective:

“I think I'd be able to forgive myself for a few years of not being the most productive designer, but I couldn’t forgive myself for a few years of not being the best parent.”