Are parents always right? Wrong. This is how to deal with them.

Marhaban ya Ramadhan :)

Ok, let's get straight into the topic that I wanted to share.
So far Ramadhan has been such a blessing. Abe and I kinda like the idea of waking up early morning as early as 4:30 a.m. to eat, talk, chill, shower, pray and catch up on the Quran while looking up at the tafsir and contemplating! That's a lot of accomplishment already in a day, as parents.

Let's check out ayat Al-Isra:23-25

As usual, Abe would 'seek' wisdom from me by 'asking' for my opinion when really, he's only cynically testing my intelligence (he already knew the answer! Anything beyond that is merely wrong or if I'm lucky, he would say "Hmm...boleh la". I think I know what it is. Could it be mansplaining?! Haha.

He said, what do you think of the ayat? What are the connections? What do you think is meant by "Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves"?

So here' a scenario. We and parents clash sometimes, right. It's completely fine and normal. Especially with the age and generation gap. What we need to bear in mind is that as we get older, we will experience a 360 degrees change in our body stamina, strength, memory, and movement, until we get back to our starting point, like when we were babies. Gradually our bodies become fragile, we become needy, extra sensitive and need special care and attention. It's the cycle of life.

So my interpretation of "Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves" is, Allah knew what we were like when we were little. He knew we were needy, careless and annoying sometimes. We came in a package with a lot of hassles that we brought into our parents' lives but they still treated us so kindly, gently and compassionately. Hence, the dua that Allah thought in verse 24, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
He knew of our past. He also knew of our future. He knew we're going to be just like that when we reach old age. So, if we want Allah's forgiveness, we forgive our parents. They've sacrificed so much more than they could ever wrong us. Therefore, the same return in gesture is expected. We treat them as to how we'd want to be treated by our adult kids when we're finally at our parents' age. 

Abe, having read the tafseer, acceptingly 'corrected' me by stating "Yes...but it has also to do with our ways and their ways. Sometimes we don't agree with their ways, for example how they fold their clothes versus how we Marie Kondoed ours. Instead of arguing or saying 'uff' as stated in verse 23, Allah says we need to just to let go and spread "the wing of humility out of mercy" like in verse 24. No matter how wrong you think your parents are, forgive them out of humiliation for they deserved to be treated with kindness. Allah knows your good intention and with that, he will reward you with His forgiveness!

Ok. There's no point arguing who is more right. The whole idea of the exercise is to finally be able to think of what you recite in the Quran. It's also fun and interesting to get personal with the ayah in explaining your interpretation. It can be a conversation starter, debate topic, reference for dua but ultimately and most importantly a guide for us all.

Let's memorize this one crucial dua about old age ya.

Ok. Peace out and happy 5th Ramadhan day to ya'lls :)

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