Cerita CV

بِسْــــــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِارَّحْمَنِ ارَّحِيم

I have this feeling yang merangka CV is very humbling. Humbling sgt in a sense that subhanallah that selama ini Allah beri kita semangat, tenaga, kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk endure pelbagai benda. Sangat humbling jugak sebab kita takkan tahu wether amalan-amalan yang kita lihatkan baik dan bersih akan diterima sepenuhnya, setengah atau dirijek completely. Yang baik-baik termaktub di CV tidak semestinya sama termaktub dlm buku amalan baik kita.

Tidak sepatutnya (mereka melakukan perbuatan yang salah itu dan melalaikan hari akhirat)! Sesungguhnya "kitab suratan amal" orang-orang yang berdosa itu (didaftarkan) dalam "Sijjiin".
Dan apa jalannya engkau dapat mengetahui: apa dia "Sijjiin" itu,
Ialah (tempat simpanan) kitab catatan yang jelas nyata, (yang menghimpunkan amalan orang-orang yang berdosa). Al-Mutaffifin 83:7-9

At the end of the day, kita syok sendiri saja sbb bajet kat dunia ni hebat dengan amalan2 tersebut. Kita mungkin boleh "persuade" or in other word, permainkan manusia tapi kita tak boleh permainkan Allah. Tujuan asal pun bukan untuk rangka daya tipu helah kat manusia...until the moment you have to come up with good word choice in explaining things. Kaya ukur statement of success such as "good" and "excellent" are measured to whose standard? Manipulative much? Being a communication student, I sort of know.

"(...) Sebenarnya dirimulah yang memandang baik perbuatan (yang buruk) itu (...). Ibrahim 12:18

At the end of the day, refresh semula niat, CV ini alat, bukan matlamat. I don't mind sharing stories or  knowledge based on my experiences and what I was taught. But there needs to be a complete and more foreceful niyyah shift when knowing and hoping that this act of sharing the piece of CV would be reciprocated back with many happy returns. And what is ikhlas again? "Ikhlas (sincerity) is like a black ant on the black stone in the dark night. It has shape but it's hard to be seen." Allah...

Counting occasion upon ocasion, I don't think I have done a lot or anywhere near enough. But with the minimal that I've done I don't view them as insignificant at all. With the minimal that I've done, they weren't my deeds to begin with. With Your tremendous goodness and rahmah that I appear to be taking the credit for, I regret and I'm sorry for all the moments when I forgot to be grateful to You, when I complained, sighed, worried and leaned my tawakkal on something else other than You. I regret and I'm sorry when I was neglectful, arrogant and did anything less than ihsan. Oh Allah, since You never even judge us based on the outcome results anyway, the least that we can do is our best. Therefore, please help us perform our best, with ihsaan, in all challenges that You have in store for us. Amin.

"O Allah, You know me better than I know myself, 

and I know myself better than these people who praise me. 

Make me better than what they think of me, 

and forgive those sins of mine of which they have no knowledge, 

and do not hold me responsible for what they say." 

Alhamdullillah, all thanks and praises be to Allah.